The Schoolhouse London

The Schoolhouse, London 137-139 St. John's Hill - London

Bar
• British
• Café

95/100
Full menu with prices and photos
Based on 2163 ratings and reviews
Updated
95 /100
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Menu The Schoolhouse

  • Most popular
    • The Naughty Schoolboy
    • Smashed Avo on toast
    • Chicken Stack
    • Headmasters Big Breakfast
    • Chicken Strips
  • Brunch
    • Fatboy Slim
    • The Naughty Schoolboy
    • Smashed Avo on toast
    • Headmasters Big Breakfast
    • Mrs Brunch
  • Brunch Sides
    • Clonakilty Black Pudding
    • Smoked Salmon
    • Pancakes & Maple Syrup
    • Harissa Fried Egg with Crispy Onions
    • Harissa Halloumi with Sunflower Tapenade
  • . . .
  • Browse the menu

The menu of The Schoolhouse suggested by Sluurpy users

Available menus

Ratings of The Schoolhouse

Opentable
Opentable
Last update on 16/12/2023
4,1
6 Reviews
Facebook
Facebook
Last update on 16/12/2023
4,3
67 Reviews
Google
Google
Last update on 16/11/2023
4,3
380 Reviews

TA

Trip
Last update on 09/11/2023
4,5
354 Reviews

PW

Pubswith.com
Last update on 29/11/2021
4,3
356 Reviews

Reviews

Zomato
Social Concierge
+4
The Vibe

When you ask people where they live, they don’t normally give you an area. They give you the nearest public transport station. Who knows where Fitzrovia or Belgravia are? Tottenham Court Road and Victoria? Got it. This is just as well for Clapham because Clapham has two Overground stations and three Underground. Clapham Junction is so big and so connected that even people living north of the river use it to get into Victoria or Waterloo quicker. The Schoolhouse is in Battersea. Nearest station: Clapham Junction. You’re welcome. But it’s on this great little stretch that falls in between RuggerBugger-land and Nappy Valley. No chanting and no pushchairs. It’s on a street of bars and restaurants (St. John’s Hill) for South Londoners with taste and without offspring.

So, for this demographic, The Schoolhouse is perfect. It’s for people who have been out of school just long enough to enjoy the trip down memory lane, but not so long as to induce an expectant mother into a panic about the 11+.

The Order

Cool menu. Sticks with the theme. Starters are listed under “Registration”, sharers under “Teacher Conference” and mains are split into Old School and New School. Glasses are ‘stemless’ and many of the dishes are served on colourful plastic plates with specific compartments.

There’s a fantastic selection of beers so even though it’s a date, I suggest trying a beer each first before you dive into the Pinot Noir.

Sponge and custard for dessert, obviously. I knew one kid at school who only ate sponge and custard. He wouldn’t eat lunch unless it was on and if it was on he’d eat all of it.

The Game

I think it’s time to share some stories about when you were naughty at school e.g. “Once I was messing about and my biology teacher said, “Tom, I’ve really gone off you” to which I replied, “That does suggest you were once on me.”

This place is the perfect stimulus for cheeky conversation. Sure, you messed about at school, but does that mean you’re still a bit naughty now? Be suggestive, but keep it coy. And certainly don’t start comparing Facebook photos from your school days. She’s pouting. He’s posturing. Keep it strictly anecdotal.

Did you ever have a crush on one of your teachers? Or did it go a bit further? Did you ever do it at school? Did you ever show up to school drunk? Hint at your inner geek/jock/cheerleader – delete as appropriate.

The Faults

The exam at the end. Kidding. No faults here.

Sex factor

4. Naughty at school. Lost innocence. Am I still naughty? Yeah, I think this place is sexy.
May 11, 2015
5
Martina Argine
+5
Delicious food with new things to try! We ordered the porkchop and the steak and everything was absolutely spot on! Plenty of vegan/veggie options as well. I had the sweet caramel gnocchi as dessert and it was so scrumptious! Service was great and overall a great chill restaurant to go back to. We'll definitely be back!
5
Sammy Harper
+5
Had the Vegan roast- was soooo good! nice to have an actual wellington (with 'feta' mmm) rather than just the normal plate of veggies. Service was on point- lovely staff and great atmosphere too. Shout out to the welsh waiter who looked after us. My friend got the beef roast and loved it- plenty of gravy too haha. x
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Timetable

Monday:
Closed
Tuesday:
05:00 PM - 12:00 AM
Wednesday:
05:00 PM - 12:00 AM
Thursday:
05:00 PM - 12:00 AM
Friday:
10:00 AM - 12:00 AM
Saturday:
10:00 AM - 12:00 AM
Sunday:
10:00 AM - 10:00 PM

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THE SCHOOLHOUSE, LONDON - 137-139 St. John's Hill - Menu and Prices

Our aggregate rating, “Sluurpometro”, is 95 based on 2163 parameters and reviews

If you need to contact by phone, call the number +44 20 7223 6288

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Based on 2163 ratings and reviews
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